Midlife Transitions: Is This a Crisis or an Awakening?
Many people associate mid-life (or quarter-life) crises with irrational and hasty decisions—like trading in the minivan for a sports car or dumping your job to travel the world. But what a lot of people don’t realize is that a life crisis (or transition) like this can actually be an incredible opportunity for personal growth.
Midlife crises are often a moment of “awakening,” of finally acknowledging your life and what you want out of it. At times this can come with some unexpected and surprising life choices, but if channeled correctly, it can also lead to powerful and empowering personal transformations.
What is a midlife transition?
A midlife transition can be a lot of things. In general, it is a period of re-evaluation, soul-searching, and uncertainty that many people experience as they navigate a new stage of life. Sometimes, life crises can arise out of great hardship or trauma, like the loss of a loved one, a big breakup, an accident or illness, or like many of us have experienced together, the COVID-19 pandemic.
Over the last couple years, COVID-19 has upended our daily routines, reorganized our priorities, and kept us contained in our homes for months. We’ve had more time than ever to evaluate what’s important to us, to be with ourselves, and to explore our values. So, it’s no wonder why so many of us are questioning our lives right now.
For some people, a transition like this can feel slow moving, like a building dissatisfaction with life or the vague feeling that something is missing. You may have been successful and have accomplished a lot, but you still crave something more. For others, a life crisis can come about very suddenly, triggered by a specific event such as a trauma, an intense psychedelic experience, or a spiritual revelation.
A sudden shift like this can leave you feeling overwhelmed, scared, and even a little crazy. Once you are able to move through those emotions, though, you can may begin to see that this “crisis” was really an awakening to opportunities that can enable you to step into a life that fells more joyful and fulfilling.
What Does a Spiritual Awakening Feel Like?
The early stages of a spiritual awakening can be incredibly challenging. It may feel like a complete change in your perspective of yourself, your life, or even the nature of the universe. Often it feels like your current life no longer makes sense - and you may have the sudden urge to quit your job, leave your relationship, or move to a different part of the world. During this phase, you may have trouble finding people who understand what you’re going through, which just adds to the feeling of confusion and disorientation.
Our values, goals, and priorities can evolve throughout our lives as we’re influenced by events that happen to us, the society we live in, and the people surrounding us. The new uncertainty you’re facing about your career or long-term goals might leave you feeling restless. It may even be difficult to define your aspirations or pin down your life purpose—and that’s completely normal.
Everyone navigates change at their own pace, and there is no schedule. Your feelings might be more or less intense, and they’ll come and go because transitions aren’t always a linear process. Moments of crisis offer invaluable opportunities to discover your true self, re-evaluate your goals, and work toward positive change.
What To Do if You’re Navigating a Midlife Transition
There are some practical steps you can take to facilitate this process and experience a smoother transition. It’s essential to engage some healthy coping strategies early on so you can find clarity and start living your uniquely authentic, purposeful, and connected life.
Some helpful ways to navigate your awakening include:
● Take care of yourself. It’s easy to get so caught up in the busyness of modern life that you forget to stop and press pause. It’s important to carve time out of your schedule that’s just for you, allowing your mind and spirit to rest and replenish. When you take care of your mind, it can cope better with the stresses and strains of whatever life throws at you. When you’re more resilient, you’re less likely to experience stress, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.
● Rethink your priorities. How many times have you worked late over the last month? Or sacrificed your wants to accommodate others? The top priorities for the “new” you might not be the same as the “old” you, so take some time to identify what’s most important. For some, work is important—maybe you thrive on being busy, or you’ve worked hard for your position. For others, there’s too much time spent working and not enough time left to enjoy what we actually want to do in life. Take some time to figure out what you want more of—whether that’s time outside, cooking delicious meals, or learning a new skill. Then, come up with ways to restore a healthier balance.
● Explore your values. Journaling, meditating, life coaching, and solo traveling can all help create space for you to identify how you see the world separate from the external influences you’re usually bombarded with. The most important thing to remember is that finding your true self isn’t a one-off exercise. Self-discovery is an ongoing process, as we’re constantly growing and changing.
● Work with someone. Midlife transitions can be scary and confusing, which is why it’s often beneficial to work with a trained professional. A therapist or life coach can support you throughout your journey to your new you, offering new perspectives, clarity, and the tools you need to move forward.
Remember: If you try to change everything at once, you’ll soon find it hard to keep up. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, it’s may help to try to address one area of your life at a time, making small (yet sustainable) changes.
Make the Most of Your Awakening
You might call it a spiritual awakening, a mid-life or quarter-life crisis, or even a “nervous breakdown,” but you know one thing for sure: You’ll never be the same again. Don’t worry - you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.
Until just a few years ago, I had always been a spiritual and religious skeptic and a self-proclaimed “open-minded atheist.” Then, one day, without warning, everything changed. My own totally unexpected, seemingly out-of-nowhere mid-life crisis/spiritual awakening hit me like a freight train and turned my whole world upside down.
In those first few months, I searched everywhere for some down-to-earth guidance that would help me make sense of my experience, but I couldn’t find anyone talking about this in a way that made sense to me. If you are experiencing a similar transition and would like some support, I am here to help.
As a licensed therapist and certified life coach, I will explore your experience with you in a non-judgmental way so you can make sense of your life path and make the most of this monumental change.
